Burns is Back and As Hilarious as Ever

John Burns, the brilliant strategist hailed as the next William F. Buckley by St. Louis Tea Party leader Bill Hennessy, who managed to only be able to get 37% of the St. Louis County population to vote against a tax increase, is back sharing his cutting political insights. Apparently, leading a campaign that manages to change a population from beating an identical initiative to only getting 37% qualifies John Burns to explain exactly how future historians are going to talk about the tea party movement. And, according to him, the tea party will be remembered as having two phases: the Stand Around and Yell Phase, and the new Creep Out Your Neighbors Phase, pioneered by him.

And he's off to a fantastic start to his new movement, explaining to the readers of Hoft's blog how they can get involved on "Titter":



Let's hope Burn's endeavor is exactly as successful as his last one. It certainly looks like he's headed in that direction.

Dana Loesch Links to Birther YouTube Channel that Repeatedly Refers to "Obama Animals"

Dana Loesch thought she was very clever for typing captions on screenshots of a recent preview for an MSNBC special. But, as you might guess from the title of the video she used, she got her information from a very strange place:

The title refers to "Obama-animals." A quick glance at the youtube user, AmericasNewsTodayDotCom shows that the person uses the expression "Obama-animals" quite often:


And a further glance at the America News Today Twitter feed reveals that the person is also a committed birther:

Hmm, she sure knows how to show how rational those tea partiers are. But there was another thing about Loesch's post that seemed bizarre: check out the text she added to this photo:

Whaa? Did Dana Loesch just totally invent a black person at a tea party rally? Because that sure looks just like a middle aged white lady to me.

It does explain one thing though. This must be why Dana Loesch is so convinced that the tea party is really diverse.

Great Moments in Durrr

Actually, Scott Brown is in the Senate, and doesn't have a vote for "House Speaker."

Gateway Pundit Uses Death Threat Against Pelosi as Argument Against Health Care Reform

Jim Hoft, fresh off whining about how the mean old "liberal media" interpreted the tea party burning a photo of Carnahan and bringing a coffin to his house as a threat, today cited a death threat against Pelosi as evidence that the health care reform bill is bad. Hoft refers to Pelosi saying that people are "thrilled" about the healthcare bill, then quotes an article reporting on a death threat against Pelosi. Concludes Hoft:

It’s a thrilling piece of legislation.

I wonder how those durn libruls will interpret this not-in-any-way-completely-creepy statement.

Gateway Pundit Misrepresents Poll Numbers

Gateway Pundit claimed yesterday that a CNN poll showed that 59% of Americans opposed the health care bill and only 39% supported it. However, as Media Matters pointed out, 13% of the people thought that the bill was "not liberal enough," which means that a majority of Americans either support the bill or wish it was more liberal.

Gateway Pundit also claimed that Pelosi's favorable rating was only 11% and Reid's was only 8%. But again, this was a completely misleading representation, since the polls offered a number of options. Pelosi's unfavorable rating was only 37% and Reid's was only 27%, far below any serious danger areas.

Loesch Burns the Phone Lines

10 seconds left. The Tyrannical Union Hippies are leading the Great American Patriots by a single point in the Ultimate Battle for Liberty of ALL TIME. Dana Loesch gets the ball. She's been practicing her whole life for this moment. She stuns one defender by making a loud shrieking noise. Adam Sharp trips another defender, giving Loesch a wide open path to the basket. She drives the lane, goes up for the shot and....CLUNK!

Aww, too bad. In the moment of America's Greatest Peril, Loesch directed her followers to "melt the phone lines" of the wrong person. Yesterday, Loesch told her followers to scream and yell at Representative Jo Ann Emerson: Hmmm, that sure sounds strange for anyone who's been paying attention to the Missouri delegation. Ryan Witt asked her where she heard that: Not to worry! Dana heard it from a TOTALLY reliable source: a Dana listener: Except, after telling all of her people to "burn Emerson's phone lines," it turns out that Loesch hadn't even bothered to call Emerson's office. And, of course, she was completely wrong: Well, that about seals it. In a couple months, union stormtroopers will be in the streets enforcing the new mandatory marijuana-smoking laws. If only they had melted the phone lines of the right person..

Worst "Citizen Journalism" Evah!

The St. Louis Tea Party loves to talk about how they're "the future of journalism." If they're right, we will all be reduced to drooling vegetables a couple decades from now. Check out this amazingly lame "journalism" from Loesch:


Let's see, we have an inaudible tape of a guy that we don't know allegedly saying something that's not really that big of a deal... followed by a dramatic zoom in on an Obama button! Ooooh, so tech savvy! And to top it all off, Loesch co-opts Pink Floyd for her video. Yeah, I'm pretty sure The Wall was all about how awesome mindless patriotism and war-mongering are!

The Ultimate Hipsters

Hey kids, do you want be the coolest dudes on the scene?


(photo from Darin Morley)

You can be in it for the money, but still be legit!
You can work to oppress poor people, and still be punk!
You can dress up in costumes from 1776 while wearing tatoos!
You can even talk about Reagan...with a piercing!

Fight back against the people who oppress the oppressors. Join the Tea Party today.

Adam Sharp says to "Keep your eyes on those moonbat neighbors of yours"

Recently crowned ass clown of the week Adam Sharp (who, by the way, won by the greatest margin in the award's history) is warning fellow conservatives to keep an eye on their "moonbat neighbors." Sharp amazingly claims that Joseph Stack, the man who crashed his plane into an IRS building, and John Bidell, the man who opened fire on the Pentagon, were "lefty nutjobs."

Apparently Sharp doesn't recognize the irony of claiming that two government-hating conspiracy theorists who attacked government institutions are "lefties" while simultaneously suggesting that the problem with the country is that the Left "owns the government."

CBT: YOU'RE HELP MAKES A HUGE DIFFERENCE!!!

The tea-party spawned astroturf group that calls itself Citizens for Better Transit is apparently neither for Better Transit nor for Better Spelling. Here's an exciting message from them on Facebook:

The Loudons sure know how to pick em!

MOPNS now reduced to sad little pranks

MOPNS, which calls itself a "news service" has been reduced to publicizing childish pranks and potty humor. Someone hacked into MO Senate Candidate Don Calloway's old campaign website and put "free porn clips for all," on the header of the site. MOPNS, showing itself to be a completely non-credible source of information, posted several stories ridiculously implying that Calloway himself was responsible for the message. MOPNS claims that they heard about this through their "tip line." Funny how no other news outlets published a story this dumb from their tiplines.

What's next for MOPNS? Video footage of someone putting a whoopee cushion underneath Jay Nixon's chair?

Is Ed Martin Trying to Commit Political Suicide?

Ed Martin is positioning himself at the front of the line for local extremists trying to destroy public transportation in the St. Louis region. Martin was one of the first people to follow the anti-transit group on Twitter, and yesterday he retweeted the following from Jim Durbin:

Durbin's post, unsurprisingly, is completely misinformed. Durbin claims that the public transportation ad is a "lie" because it says, "Some of us use it, all of us need it." He suggests that the money raised if Proposition A passes will only be used for expansion, and that Citizens for Better Transit is "lying" by suggesting that it's needed for Metro.

First of all, perhaps Durbin didn't notice, but the commercial run by CBT does not even mention the Proposition A campaign. So his suggestion that they're "lying" about the campaign is incoherent. But more importantly, Durbin does not even have the most basic understanding of what the stakes are for Proposition A. Metro had to cut funding last year after Proposition M did not pass. They were bailed out by the state and able to restore some (but not all) services, but they can't keep these services running unless their revenue is increased. The reality is that if Proposition A does not pass, Metro will have to make significant cuts in services, including light rail schedules, bus service, and call-a-ride. So I could perhaps say that Durbin is lying, but that would assume that he actually had some idea what he was talking about.

Back to Ed Martin. Why in the world would a candidate for office in the St. Louis region get behind a campaign that would cripple any future hope for quality public transportation in the city? I'm hopeful that Proposition A will pass, but who knows, maybe Martin, Durbin and other extremists will successfully misinform voters enough to beat the campaign. If so, any hope Martin had of running a competitive campaign will be completely ruined.

Why do I say this? Because just like last time, if funding is cut for public transportation, thousands of people will be left without ways to get to work. The elderly and disabled who rely on call-a-ride will be seriously inconvenienced. It will be a disaster, just like it was last year. And everyone will know that Ed Martin, as a local political personality with a big microphone, is one of the reasons the campaign failed. Does he seriously think anyone in St. Louis would vote for him after he tries to take out a crucial part of St. Louis infrastructure?

Gateway Pundit Extremely Concerned About Sex Lives of Local Undergraduates

Champion of Virginal Purity and All Things Good in the World Jim Hoft, aka Gateway Pundit, was forced to write a post today going into detail about a Washington University undergraduate's sex column in the independent student newspaper Student Life. Hoft, with only pure and good intentions, was so intent on warning his readers about this den of sin that he even decided to post three full paragraphs from the column on "how to give a textbook blowjob." Hoft's fellow middle aged male commenters then took turns alternately wagging their wrinkled old fingers at the downfall of society and calling Wash U undergraduates "sluts."

I'm sure undergraduates around the world will sleep much better knowing that Jim Hoft is keeping a watchful eye on their sex lives.

Gateway Pundit Thinks Yoo Deserves Medal for Saying President Can Massacre Civilians

Jim Hoft, aka Gateway Pundit, today claims that John Yoo, designer of the "enhanced interrogation techniques" of the Bush era, deserves "the Presidential Medal of Freedom, not Presidential Disdain." Yoo's legal philosophy, of course, is based on the absurd idea that the President can basically do whatever he wants, and a recently released legal document showed just how debased this philosophy is. When asked if the President can legally order the massacre of a civilians "massacred," Yoo replied "sure."

Apparently, Hoft is trying to compete with Glenn Beck for the Presidential Medal of Ridiculousness.

Adam Sharp Doesn't Understand Multiplication

Adam Sharp today said the following:

Maher is pretty good at spreading Barry's propaganda. But if you take a closer look at that "taxcut for 95% of Americans," it's not a tax cut at all. Those 95% of people who's taxes went down saw an average of $20 extra dollars per week in their paycheck.

Now, finally, I'm starting to realize why Sharp spends so much time arguing with 8-year olds: they have acquired a skill set that allows them to think in ways that Sharp can't imagine. For example, using the mathmatical operation known as mul-ti-pli-ca-tion, 8-year olds would be able to determine that $20 a week multiplied by 52 weeks works out to over $1000 dollars.
A thousand dollars is actually quite a good sum of money for anyone who's actually struggling to make ends meet. Sharp apparently wouldn't understand this since he is able to spend his abundant amount of leisure time traveling around St. Louis harassing everyone he doesn't like (i.e. everyone who doesn't think Obama is a socialist). Come to think of it: maybe Sharp's upset because Bill Maher so perfectly nailed the fact that people like Sharp are willing to blame Obama for all of their problems.

Is Conservatives of America Website a Birther Haven?

Dana Loesch and Jamie Allman's site Conservatives of America isn't growing very fast, but it does seem to be attracting some interesting people. Marketing Guy, who is regularly the featured post on the site, posted a video questioning whether Obama was born in Hawaii:

The video also suggested that Barack Obama might not be his real name:
The entire video is crazy: if you've got the stomach, you can watch the whole think here.
The post was also featured on the Conservatives of America facebook page, meaning that it definitely had official approval:
So why did Dana Loesch and Jamie Allman go out of their way to start up a birther website? And could this be the reason that the site is doing so poorly? And what in the world are they doing with all the money they're raising?

KTRS "Analyst" Proudly Displays 2nd Revolution Flag

Earlier, I mentioned that KTRS's political "analyst" Gina Loudon thought Joseph Basel was a hero for tampering with phone lines in a New Orleans office. In that same post, Loudon also posted a picture of the "2nd Revolution Flag":

(picture from teh analyst's blog)
Think Progress had previously reported on 2nd Revolution flags being at a Scott Brown Rally. Of course, in that case, the right could just say that Brown is not responsible for the flags at his rally. But Loudon proudly posted a picture on her blog.
So what's the flag about? Think Progress quotes the creator of the flag, Jeff McQueen, as saying that it could either of two meanings: the 2nd American Revolution or the 2nd Amendment. McQueen further calls for spitting the country in half (via Think Progress):

We are now as divided as America was in the 1860s. When two people find they can no longer communicate, while living under the same roof, they often split apart and go there seperate ways. So what if . . . we took the United States and just split it in half . . . 24 states become The United States of the Democrats and 24 states become The United States of the Republicans (including Ron Paul supporters and Libertarians etc . . .). California and New York can be split in half and go the the side they choose.

Apparently, the first step in Gina Loudon's march towards a new revolution is to attempt to destroy public transportation in St. Louis.

PS For wingers keeping track at home, this post is covered under the fair use doctrine.

As first misreported...

Jim Durbin, the right wing blogger who thought that the Animal Control Department was involved in a Massive Government Conspiracy and seems to think that editing LinkedIn profiles is a clear indication of membership in the Illuminati, has now taken to starting his blog posts with "As first reported on 24th State..." Durbin apparently fancies himself as the Last True Journalist and regularly taunts the Post-Dispatch for not reporting his conspiracy theories, and he wants to make sure that he's given his due credit.

Unfortunately, the new tag has not changed anything about Durbin's reporting style: he still takes a tiny sliver of truth and then stretches it to fit an absurd right-wing narrative that turns out to be completely false. Last week Durbin scored a media scoop by reporting that Obama was going to be in St. Louis. Unfortunately, however, he managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory by claiming that Obama was only coming for McCaskill and that this was a clear sign that Robin Carnahan was trying to distance herself from the President. But, as Jake Wagman reported today, Obama is actually coming to raise money for both McCaskill and Carnahan.

Maybe this is just my own bias speaking, but it seems to me that if you're going to hype up the fact that you "first reported" something, you might want to actually get your story right.

Member of Original St. Louis Tea Party says Group has been "Co-opted by Neocons"

Interesting quote from Steven S. Hoffman on a StudLife article titled "Why tea and politics shouldn't mix":

As one who was present at the very beginning of the modern Tea Party movement, which was hatched in 2006-2007 by libertarians (who were trying to elect Ron Paul) as a protest against the BUSH ADMINISTRATION, and who has watched the movement be polluted and co-opted by Neocons, I feel fairly ambivalent about Tea Partiers (or if you prefer the vulgar Tea Baggers).

Anti-Transit Group Pwns Itself (with help from St. Louis Urban Workshop)

The astroturf, anti-St. Louis City group CBT (Crazypeople for Bulldozing Transit) continues to embarrass itself. Yesterday, they posted on their blog that pro-transit group Citizens for Modern Transit was "lying" because it claimed that the Metrolink delivered 20% of fans to the Cardinals games. The web site stated, "fortunately they allow reader comments," implying that the reader comments proved their assertion.

However, if you look at the comments, you'll see that St. Louis Urban Workshop actually completely dismantled the talking points of the astroturfers. Here's the relevant quote:

Nick – perhaps you should include your math when making an assertion that someone is lying. I did – and I welcome anyone to correct what I’ve figured:
2009 average attendance = 41,000
20% of 41,000 = 8,200
MetroLink 2-car train capacity = 356 x 2 (for one train in each direction) = 712 (and there are likely quite a few more than that, but this is official stated capacity)
8,200 passengers / 712 passengers per train = 11.5 trains needed
2 trains every 15min = 86.25 minutes to transport 8,200 passengers.
Again, I’m sure that there are more people on those trains than the stated capacity. Even so, I calculate 1hr 26min. And this would be 57.5 minutes with the old 10min schedule. With fans leaving the stadium across a time period of 30 minutes or more, depending on the score/weather/etc. it’s seems easy enough to transport that many passengers. Plus, quite a few go downtown early to eat, or stay downtown afterward, further spreading out demand.

So CBT throws out the ridiculous assertion that Citizens for Modern Transit is lying, and then links to a site that disproves their own argument. Nice!