Loesch Burns the Phone Lines

10 seconds left. The Tyrannical Union Hippies are leading the Great American Patriots by a single point in the Ultimate Battle for Liberty of ALL TIME. Dana Loesch gets the ball. She's been practicing her whole life for this moment. She stuns one defender by making a loud shrieking noise. Adam Sharp trips another defender, giving Loesch a wide open path to the basket. She drives the lane, goes up for the shot and....CLUNK!

Aww, too bad. In the moment of America's Greatest Peril, Loesch directed her followers to "melt the phone lines" of the wrong person. Yesterday, Loesch told her followers to scream and yell at Representative Jo Ann Emerson: Hmmm, that sure sounds strange for anyone who's been paying attention to the Missouri delegation. Ryan Witt asked her where she heard that: Not to worry! Dana heard it from a TOTALLY reliable source: a Dana listener: Except, after telling all of her people to "burn Emerson's phone lines," it turns out that Loesch hadn't even bothered to call Emerson's office. And, of course, she was completely wrong: Well, that about seals it. In a couple months, union stormtroopers will be in the streets enforcing the new mandatory marijuana-smoking laws. If only they had melted the phone lines of the right person..