Wednesday, February 10, 2010

How to argue like Dana Loesch

For any aspiring Fox News and Pajamas Media TV contributors out there, I've assembled a handy five-step guide for how to respond to criticism exactly like Dana Loesch in every possible situation:
1. See if the criticism is merely pointing out things you were completely factually wrong about. If so, ignore, because who really cares about that? If not, proceed to step 2.

2. Check Big Government to see if if Andrew Breitbart wrote something on the subject. If so, link to his article and pretend like that's sufficient proof. If not, proceed to step 3.

3. See if there's any possible story you can invent to claim that the person is racist or sexist. If so, state that this proves that really it has been liberals who are responsible for all of the racism and sexism in the country. If not, proceed to step 4.

4. Check for any typos or punctuation mistakes, like a missing apostrophe. If so, pretend that this invalidates the entire argument. Now would be a good time to use a phrase that shows how hip and relevant you are. If not, proceed to step 5.

5. Proceed to incoherent name-calling. Phrases like "stalker" or "troll" are empty enough that you can use them on anyone who criticizes you. Or, if you'd like to get really creative, you can invent new expressions like "rattling the specter" that will be sure to confuse your readers.

And there you go! Just follow these simple steps and you'll be well on your way to a lucrative career spreading propaganda for the noble corporations that as we all know are not responsible for any of the world's problems.


  1. Spot on. Don't forget, though, you must also consider whether the person is 'jealous.' This is especially effective when all else fails. I'm pretty sure the word 'jealous' has cropped up frequently in her tirades. Because, you know, we are all terribly, debilitatingly jealous of that creature who calls herself Dana Loesch.

    I mean c'mon, she works with that wordsmith genius Jamie Allman!

  2. You completely forgot:

    Post several links to support your point, knowing no one will bother to actually read the links, b/c you didn't actually read the links, b/c if you had, you'd know they don't actually support your point.


    Post links to articles written by others but give the impression you came up with the ideas expressed.

    Or another one:

    Pretend that you are smarter than everyone else even though you didn't actually finish college.

  3. Ahh, excellent point. I can't believe I forgot how jealous we all are! I'm pretty sure I remember reading in intro psychology that most people express their jealousy by pointing out inconsistencies.

  4. Jealous b/s she seems like such a happy, well-adjusted individual? I don't think so.

  5. I'm not very political, but I want to wrap all of you up into a big, big hug for saying all the things I've wanted to say publicly on line FOR-EVER, but have only spouted to those who know in local bars. (And, truly, I'm not much of a hugger).

  6. You could also discuss writing a blog post in a way that is hard to read (like having paragraphs that contain only one mega, run-on sentence), so no one can really understand what you're trying to say. But because you have so many of those linky-things, people will think you know what you're talking about.

    I feel like I need to work on my reading comprehension skills when I read something she's written. I hope it's not just me. Also, I think I would like her more if she weren't so angry. I can handle people who have different political views than I do. I've even tried to listen to her radio show so that I could get a better idea of the way she thinks. But the anger that comes through her voice is a turn off and I never get past one or two minutes.

    PS...I love this blog.

  7. I love this post! It is dead on.

    Michelle: Great point. She comes off as believing that everyone wants to emulate her. The egoism is astounding.

    Yeah, that college thing......does anyone know where she went or how far she got? She has implied that she attended a "pricey liberal college".

  8. Also forgot: post links to other articles you wrote on the subject on other blogs (of yours) to prove your point. Bonus points for acting like everyone is talking about it, when really it's just you on multiple blogs (of yours).
    Or my personal fave "google it!" cuz everything on the google is true!

  9. Amusing that you note that she rants about the literacy skills of others - if you read Loesch's blog, she is frequently guilty of poor grammar, punctuation, and spelling herself. I have quoted her in things I have written to show ridiculous thee folks are and have to use "sic" over and over to make it clear that I am not the guilty party.

  10. I just thought of another one: the infamous "comments off" -- post whatever nonsense you want and disable comments so you don't have to deal with the "flame war" (of people pointing out how wrong you are). If you do find yourself forced to write for a site that actually allows the great unwashed to comment, never respond.

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  12. Long overdue breath of fresh air! Out of curiosity, I tried to listen to her on the radio after becoming horrified that she was morphing from a mommyblogger into a recognized political voice of the robotic right. She's unlistenable for all aforementioned reasons, and if there's such a thing as reverse synergy, it happens whenever she's paired with the profoundly unlistenable blowhard Jamie Allman.

    Testimony to the rampant dilution factor of the mind-numbing slow drip of the 24 hour news cycle are her appearances on FOX and syndicated radio.

  13. To add onto Annette's comment about "comments off", the other tactic she uses is to not publish those negative comments for which she cannot form a retort -- if you look at the sites where she can't control the publication of comments (like BlogHer) you'll see far more dissent than on the sites where she can control what comments make it to the post.

  14. Christy is absolutely right - she does not publish negative comments. It would not jive with her need for sycophancy.